Aim high and do everything in your control to become your best self

Aim high and do everything in your control to become your best selfAim high and do everything in your control to become your best selfThe world is full of paradoxes. One of the biggest is the tradeoff between having high and low expectations.On the one hand, we need to expect to win at life, otherwise whats the point of even trying? But on the other hand, we cant be discouraged when we lose.The two different concepts are perfectly explained by the following two quotes.You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.- Zig ZiglarBlessed is he who expects notlagehing, for he shall never be disappointed.? Alexander PopeThe first quote says weshouldexpect to win, the second one says weshouldntexpect to win. So which attitude do you pick?This is a hard concept to wrap your head around. It took me years to find a balance that worked for me.The Importance Of A PositiveAttitudeYou need a positive attitude if you want to win. All kinds of succ essful people from different fields will tell you that.Theres no point in trying. When you do something, you must do it well, and expect to win. I think thats the attitude many winners share.But you and I both know that your attitude is only one part of the equation. Without putting in the work, you must realize that you will not win. You can have all the talent in the world, if you dont put it to work, you will never reach your full potential.Winning, becoming good at your job, getting recognition - it all requires a lot of work. To reach our full potential, we must prioritize learning over pleasure.That means we cant become greatandgo out every weekend, watch movies every night, play video games, go shopping, and just hang out on the couch.The Danger Of Low ExpectationsBut expecting to win can also be harmful if youre not mentally strong. Ive always been an optimistic person. That attitude has helped me a lot in life.However, in my early twenties, I almost got discouraged to reac h for my goals. Time and time again, I was disappointed by failure. Especially when I got out of college, I tried to start many different businesses. And everything failed except for the business I started with my dad.Naturally, I felt like I couldnt do it on my own. Look back, it was too early for me. But those high expectations almost made me give up. Im glad I kept going and stayed positive.The problem is not whether you fail or not. Its about this What do you want to do about it?Cry and moan and say, Why does this happen We all know thats not helpful. Instead, we must be indifferent tooutcomes.But still, I do think we must expect to win at everything in life Your career, relationships, and money. Aim high and do everything in your control to become your best self. Thats the most useful way to spend your time.Compare Yourself To Who You Were YesterdayI like this idea from Jordan Peterson, who talks about comparing yourself to who you wereyesterday, in his book12 Rules For Life.Wh en you focus on yourself, theres no disappointment about external factors.You do everything you can, and if you lose, you will do better next time. Nothing can destroy you.And if you fail? So what? Being sad or disappointed when things dont turn out the way you expected is completely normal. I still dont like to fail. But whats not normal is blaming others or yourself.Heres the thingDont take yourself nor life too seriously.We all know that blaming others is what fools do. You only create resentment and hatred by blaming other people for your losses in life.But sadly, many honest, self-aware, and positive people blame themselves. And thats also wrong.Expect The Best From Yourself - Not From TheWorldIn short, this is what Ive learned about high and low expectationsHavehighexpectations from yourself. Put in the work. Aim for becoming your best self.Havezeroexpectations from the world.Dont expect other people to hand you anything.Understand that you dont control externals. Never blame yourself for bad outcomes.But do blame yourself for not giving it your all.Thats something you control.There are always people who say, But what about this or that? And I often say that I dont know. Because its nave to say you have the answers.Were all trying to make sense out of our careers, relationships, and most importantly Our own actions.Its a never-ending process. We do. We fail. We learn. But we never give up.This article first appeared on DariusForoux.com.